Balderdash

n: stupid or illogical talk; senseless rubbish

          That is what this blog post is going to be. Complete rubbish, and nonsense. Last night I could not for the life of me fall asleep. When I finally did, it was short lived. I woke up probably about 3 hours later, and realized that my husband was not in the bed beside me. I am not one to enjoy change, so being the worry wart that I am, I went to investigate. I walked to the basement (my husbands equivalent to Batman's bat cave), and there he was sleeping in a freaking office chair. That boy can sleep anywhere, and he claimed he "didn't want to disturb me because I had to be up early for a photo shoot," which I would have responded if I wasn't so dead on my feet tired "then why didn't you come up into bed, it's the only reason I got up in the first place!" pfft, men...
          I find it really hard not to incorporate my personal life into my business blog, so I figure there is no way that I am going to be able to refrain from incorporating my business life into my personal blog. This morning I had a shoot with a little baby girl. I actually felt a physical pain when holding this baby, because I want to have a baby so bad! Look at this picture, how could you NOT want to have a baby after seeing/photographing/holding this baby?

           I swear that ever since I was a little girl, all I could imagine myself being was a mom. My best friends mother, who is like a second mother to me, has told me on several occasions that when we were little (I have known, and been best friends, with my best friend since I was around 4) I would go over and Candice would get mad because I would want to hold and play with her little baby brother.
          Off and on for the past few years I have had some major baby fever moments. Within a couple of weeks reality would sink in just as I was ready to make the decision and say "let's go for it!" and I would realize that I wanted to finish school, and get established before I brought a baby into this world. Now school is over, and my business is taking off much quicker than I could ever anticipate. I got a serious case of baby fever as soon as school finished, and I guess because there is nothing holding me back, it hasn't gone away, and I don't think it will until I pee on a stick and see that + sign, or two lines, or the word "pregnant". There really are too many ways that a stick can tell you that you are pregnant or not lol!
          So why don't I just give it a go? Well I have a seriously messed up reproductive system. I don't ovulate monthly, like the regular person. In fact I barely ovulate yearly. It is so unpredictable, that trying to get pregnant on my own would be the most frustrating thing I would ever have to deal with. So ladies and gentlemen, I have got a referral to a gynecologist, and should hear back soon about when I can get an appointment to discuss measures that can be taken in the trying to conceive process. Here is to hoping it doesn't take me years to get pregnant!
          The good news is, losing weight will help a lot as people who are overweight have much more problems with infertility. This was not even a factor when I made the decision to diet and live a healthier lifestyle, but it is definitely something that is constantly in the back of my mind now. Speaking of weight loss, as this is suppose to be a weight loss blog. For some reason I have hit a plateau, in fact, I have been yo-yo-ing with one pound (between 165 and 166). It is proving to be very frustrating. So far all I have been doing to lose weight is eating better (low calorie diet - eating around 1200 per day), so as of this week, I am integrating exercise into my diet plan. I really hope this breaks the plateau so that I can lose another 10 pounds before Hawaii. Cardio workouts will be especially nice for Hawaii, because we plan to do a lot of hiking, and I do not want to be huffing and puffing as we are hiking the mountains. Which I have heard can be quite difficult, so I need to get prepared. I don't know how much I will be able to do in 5 weeks, but anything will be better than the shape I am in now!
          See what I mean about rambling? I never intended for this blog post to be so long! I hope you enjoyed a further glimpse into my life, and the struggles I am dealing with at the present time. I have never been, and never will be someone who is mysterious, and doesn't share personal things about themselves. I like relating to other people on issues that require support by both being a listener, advice giver, and I appreciate the support from others when I am being the one who needs to vent.